Evaporate
不斷出現，明天就來。
你是誰？ 飛越草地
看上的飛機花光了三百五十日的等候。
不要看！
極光沒有表演時序，顏色沒有臉
星夜。地平線上懸起連串燈咆。
不要叫！ 我來了
你卻去了由夢話組成的國度繪織著
過了期的手提電話。
「有人在嗎？」
你的耐性堅持不了三句小時。
我越發草莽，你流漣旺角一帶流散不定的 price tag，
一下
兩句子，三三歸九
把我帶走吧！
六秒的督信，三年的航線要飛多久才能擺脫
凝住的北極風。
A letter to you, Mr. X.
I don’t know why I’m writing this to you, perhaps too much the X-files, I eventually have a little time to reflect on what I've been through recently.
I love the x-files, it's not because I believe in all those para-normal phenomena strongly exhibited in the shows, rather I find the driving force in them for me to re-start my life-long exploration in the knowns and the unknowns that I could hardly find elsewhere, to be intoxicated from too many everyday-life spectacles that has somehow covered up my eyes and pulled me back from going on my journey, just the same as those senior agents who attempted to stop Mulder from revealing the truth (not quite the true self, as what Linda once told me, there could have never been "true self". Things evolve, perhaps our existence relies on change), and here scientific progress bargains with social stability and more, whereas my righteous consciousness struggles with living trickeries that secure my sheer survival... I cannot conclude which comes more important to me, maybe they should always been in chain.
I've tried to figure out what exactly I want for my FYP by putting my very messy batch of notes and hand drafts in order the whole day today. I thought of the connection between physiology and psychology, the social theories of Foucault and Deleuze's radical ideas of schizophrenia and how they are linked with the new-age vagaries that serve to induce harmonic convergence. I've read your words many times lately, partly because of my translation/transcription "job" (believe me I hate it the same as you do and I intended only to work for a better SCM if I can). Honestly speaking I'm already very familiar with most of the contents even without reading them. But, reading those lines showing how much you are aware of your tendency in believing that others are criticizing you worries me. Yes I worry about you.
You are a very clever one. You have the very gift to tell right and wrong. And your hardwork is obvious. As one of those who loves you alot and has once been mistakenly seen as having criticized you I could feel my heart bleed everytime I think about it. You have no idea how powerful you words can be. Why would a very smart guy consciously knowing himself being captured by such evil tendency not able to stop it and tackle it right away? I would never want to see you lose control of yourself. This is something that I can never let go. There are more than enough people on earth that I love turning crazy. Hold back your anger, have a cup of mint tea when there are too many unexpected issues troubling you for there will always be more and more to come as long as you care. Sometimes my emotion can bring me to the clouds, and, it would just leave me there.
Many invalid beliefs of mine have been erased during the last 3 years. Still I think we are qualified as human beings because we think and we love. And perhaps this is why I love the first 10 minutes of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" so much. When the time is come, we should just let go.
Love Remedy
How did it start? And why should it end?
We try not to ask this kind of questions: We treasure the here-and-now, history is written for now, the future is always too far from our hands.
跟你講完電話後 ...
跟你講完電話後，一直無法入睡。
一種要去建構感情於虛擬實線的難度，付諸充斥報章上的肺炎頭條和中日對伺，我並無法否定那暱存於電話線上的依隈的卑微，不比窗外籠罩一眾高樓的灰天黑霧姣凝，穿不過不曾被確認的道德圍牆。
我封鎖著躍動的、肆意掙脫的一番話，藉略為凌散的吻去駁斥若干理所當然的訓示和言之鑿鑿的大社會哲學；我不假守情感分析之所不及，猶恐架築彼此交通的同時早被沈潛內心的一只猛獸擊破，否定每個晚上由時間守護的愛的經驗。這是一種針對性的宣示？不錯，這就是要求對愛的重新檢定，一種強調此時此地和刪除情感基調的宣示。
套落存在與虛無上，愛的可認性也許只流於四周謊言歪語的堆切、重整及再重整；而愛的內容卻出乎直率與澄明，了無怪趣，卻又比一切都來得更包容，更具實存。
我想，我們不是正正在為我們填寫新的內容麼？
一九九九年的香港，二零零五年的日誌
今天，很多人都愛把玩記憶、搬弄記憶，甚至駕御記憶，為的是編做些能自動調節並緩和突襲或異數的史實，藉詞忘卻每天太多如出一轍而內容空洞的暫存性記憶自圓無從被定位的立場。
我的記性不比別人強，對肢離破碎、強差人意的一些舊事殘影卻念念不忘，有時候更想要跟昨天的自己打對話，顛倒昔日的大社會背景。疫症漫延時我留守家中，邊嚐兩磅裝石板街雪糕邊追尋「X檔案」留下的擴炎出路；於舊式茶樓內，我隔著口罩跟欠薪店主交換烹調鳳爪心得；堅持奉行愛情問責，尤其玩得忘形的週五六 …
忘了從何時起，我開始以收藏「香港雜誌」(HK Magazine)的行動去儲下那些揮之不去而卻又未敢隨意解封的零星片段，是因為它態度夠堅實，對當下的時事一一參評，不迴避亦不拖拉；也因為它內容的覆蓋性廣，插入面亦不少，文字看膩了有四格漫畫作解話，要事說盡也可尋友解憂。
今天經我翻箱倒籠，發現了數百本一直留下來的香港雜誌，而其中包含了一段至今仍舊嚦嚦在目的時間，一九九九年。不偏不倚，回歸後的試探夾雜對千禧的期盼，映照我活得出世的年華，昨夜的月亮浮現於今天的時代洪流，我向它澆一杯酒。
我決定跟這些回憶玩一場遊戲。
以下以不同形式出現的文字屬我對所擁有的一九九九年的香港雜誌、當下的大小事的按時回應，而其中漏缺及重複的期號亦被套落入文字內，讓今時今日的我去重繪一幅一九九九年的香港藍圖，並編著我二零零五年及後的私日誌。
